Actress Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about her experience of being in a controlling relationship and the emotional impact it had on her. In an unabashed conversation, the actress spoke about facing emotional abuse and gaslighting, revealing how her partner’s behaviour made her question aspects of her identity that she had once been confident about.
In a YouTube conversation with interviewer Dhyan Varma, Anupama recalled how the relationship affected the way she viewed herself as a woman and as an actor. She revealed that she eventually felt ashamed of her own achievements, confidence and even her natural bodily functions. “I was in a situation where I was ashamed that I was an actor. I was ashamed that I was confident. I was ashamed that I have my periods and I’m a woman,” she said.
Elaborating on how her partner allegedly used her menstrual cycle to dismiss her feelings and concerns, Anupama said that she was made to feel that her emotions were simply a consequence of PMS rather than something worth addressing. She went on to add, “Because, first day of the cycle, fifth day of the cycle, tenth day of the cycle, fifteenth day of the cycle, twentieth day, twenty-fifth day, any day of the cycle. You confront this person for a mistake he has done, they will say, oh, you’re PMSing, your period is yet to come. So I was so ashamed. I was someone who dreamt of having 11 children. At this point, I don’t even want kids. I felt so bad for being a woman. I felt so bad for all my achievements,” she added.
Anupama also opened up about how the controlling nature of the relationship extended beyond her personal life and began influencing her professional decisions. According to the actress, she made changes that she did not necessarily want to make because of her partner’s choices and expectations.
The actress revealed that the situation even affected the way she approached her film career. She said that there were instances when she did not promote certain films, suggesting that her professional choices were impacted by the dynamics of the relationship.
Anupama further spoke about the pressure she experienced as the relationship progressed, including being forced and coerced to take it to the next level. Her candid account highlighted how controlling behaviour can gradually influence an individual’s confidence, personal decisions and professional life.
Through her conversation, Anupama reflected on a phase where she felt disconnected from the person she had been and from the ambitions, she had once embraced. Her revelations shed light on the emotional consequences of being in a relationship where one’s choices and identity can be repeatedly questioned or undermined.
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