1 Poor

Vivah

Damn, how this film makes us miss Salman Khan and Madhuri Dixit.

Vivah is a nightmare. With a storyline and background score making you feel like you're trapped in a sadistically put-together marathon of soap operas.this isn't just a bad movie. There are lots of awful films out there, and one would ignore this, label it avoidable (wise course of action) and move on, but this is much worse than a mere bad film.

the film paints an India that makes you wince, a disastrously worded world whose characters are not just saccharine but suicide-provoking. Alright, people in small towns are simple and charming, and yes, they are more prone to tradition than most of us, but in no way are they... what's the word? Ah yes, pathetic. Vivah is shameful simply because it makes you glad to be in a big city, and like another big release this year, it really makes you wanna give marriage a rethink.

Picture Shahid mooning wistfully on a verandah. Amrita, ghoonghat covering her head, pops up behind him with a brass tumbler full of water, and mousily asks him if he'd like some "jal." That's right, these folk are inadvertently mean caricatures of the heartland, talking like absolutely nobody does. He sniffles, takes the glass and reaches for some ice when she cuts in. 'People with a cold,' she smiles at his sneakers, 'shouldn't ice their drinks.' Amrita smiles 'coyly' and scoots off, even as Shahid skips the ice and stands wondering how she realised he had a cold. While this rough translation from the unbelievable Vivah tongue might not have quite the same impact, it exemplifies the horror this film is packed with.

Amrita Rao plays a cow. Docile to a fault, the pretty girl ponders around the film, constantly getting in the way of the story. Her character is not just conservative but excessively given to world-pleasing. She sobs, she smiles, she scampers -- she does anything anyone wants her to do, making you wish someone tried asked her to be subtle. Her painful performance coupled with the horrible lines she's given singles her out as the film's weakest point -- so her having the maximum screentime isn't a positive

Now if only he'd followed this idea up with real actors, something close to a plot, and someone who could write one line of actual dialogue.

Credits for this review goes to-Raja Sen