Bollywood movies and the celebs make the headlines of news every day. Sometimes it’s for their
brilliant or pathetic movies, while other times it’s for the bizzare statements they make in the press. Whatever it may
be, there are always these clichÃ©s that get highlighted each time and often, the truth is quite the opposite. Here’s a
list of what Bollywood say and what they actually mean.
1. ‘“The music of the movie is original”‘
It is pinched off, off some album only known in a country that we bet you have never heard of.
2. ‘“It’s his best performance till date”‘
It’s the first time he was able to blink when the
director called ‘action’.
3. ‘“The script is unique”‘
The plot is inspired by a Korean movie, mixed with a French one and the
climax is handpicked from that of a Chinese.
4. ‘“It’s a thought provoking film”‘
You will have all kinds of thoughts going in your head,
including ‘why you bought the ticket’, ‘what the f*** is going on in the movie’ and ‘mmm.. the popcorn’s
5. ‘“He may be a star’s son but he climbed the ladder of success on his own”‘
Only, my dad gifted
the ladder on my birthday to launch me. And the next ten to rise from the previous flops.
6. ‘“It’s a family entertainer”‘
The whole family would piss themselves hard, laughing at our stupid
dialogues and even stupider story.
7. ‘“The film has 101 kissing scenes”‘
This is all that we have in our movie plus some 40 minutes of
song-dance sequences. We had some more kisses originally, but had to cut short the movie because it was getting too
8. ‘“This movie is a benchmark for meaningful cinema”‘
It truly creates a benchmark above which any
cinema that has even the slightest meaning would lie.
9. ‘“Over 500 actors were auditioned for this role”‘
Then we zeroed in on the star-son whom we had
selected before the audition rounds began.
10. ‘“We are not having an affair”‘
Print this…It’s good for the film. And for other saucy
details, contact my make-up man.
11. ‘“This song will be the year’s most sensational item number”‘
The lyrics are more idiotic and
vulgar than ever and the item girl will dance more sleazily than has ever been seen before.
12. ‘“It’s the director’s dream film”‘
The director is a sadist and couldn’t rest until he made us
all watch his dream aka nightmare as well.
13. ‘“The film went to the Cannes”‘
We begged them to call it there, they reluctantly agreed and
since then the movie is resting in peace. R.I.P.