Did you watch Interstellar Was something, wasn’t it? But what if Bollywood attempted to make something like that? And when every director in Bollywood has his own style, that reflects in each of their movies… It would surely make for some serious fun if they actually went about making ‘Bollywood Interstellar’! 😉 🙂
1. Karan Johar
The role of Dr. Amelia Brand would be played by Alia Bhatt. There will be a love triangle, two guys and a girl… Nothing gay about it. And the whole movie will be focussed on explaining to her the heavy terms of ‘Blackhole’, ‘Fifth Dimension’, ‘Gravitational Time Dilation’ and etc. and etc. and etc. When in the end she will happily exclaim ‘Blackhole’ to be the name of the mole on Prithviraj Chauhan’s face.
2. Anurag Kashyap
Dr. Mann would be played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui. He would kill each and every crew member shooting them with his gun until all the bullets are used up. Then he would set out on the mother ship towards Edmund’s planet. When suddenly he would be shot in the back by Dr. Brand or Cooper or CASE or even Donald. Who cares until one is killing the other.
3. Yash Chopra
The lead role will be played by Shah Rukh Khan. It doesn’t matter what the journey through the space may be… All that matters is there will be glances stolen between Cooper and Amelia, there will be at least 5-6 romantic songs pictured in Switzerland and in the end they will both marry and live happily ever after on Edmund’s planet.
4. Prabhu Dheva
The movie will be filmed in Ramoji Film City. There will be two or three dance sequences of absurd human body challenging dance moves; preferably some twisted moonwalk… since it’s space they are traversing (And well because its MJ fan Prabhu Dheva)…. Crazy physics-laws-defying stunts and songs tempered with nonsensical and tongue twister lyrics!!
5. Rajkumar Hirani
The movie will be more of a challenge and a thought provoking plot on social norms… The cast will meet an alien on their way to find a habitable planet; he will learn their ways, be friends with them and take them to his own planet to live happily.
6. Rituparno Ghosh
Cooper Das and Amelia Banerjee will be the protagonists. They will eat dehydrated baingan bhaja, macher jhol and roshogolla for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And unfortunately, the movie would end right when Cooper would discover the fifth dimension. He will die before letting Murph know of his discovery and Amelia will lead a lonely life waiting for him fruitlessly.
7. Imtiaz Ali
Kareena Kapoor aka Amelia would be a pain in the a** and keep on talking about random illogical things… when sick of her bak bak, Cooper, Romilly, Doyle and even TARS will jump off in the sunsaan raat of the vast space.
8. Sanjay Leela Bhansali
Murph would not be Cooper’s daughter but his childhood lover. She and Amelia would wear similar sarees or ghaghras or whatever, only grand and heavy and dance together in the mother ship. The ship of course would be all blue and so would be Dr. Mann’s or even Edmund’s planet. Needless to add, Cooper will die of alcoholism before he even reaches there.
9. Prakash Jha
Interstellar will be a fight against the agonizing ‘system’. Murph will lead a movement where all the earth beings will sit down for anshan until they are all rocketed into space.
10. Farhan Akhtar
It will be a movie of three musketeers, three friends Cooper, Amelia and Dr. Mann who would go on a road trip in Goa or Spain. Dr. Mann had long been had a fight with Cooper and they were not talking ever since because his apology was faulty. It did not come from dil se! Nevertheless, he did apologise dil se in the end and they were again happy three musketeers yet again.
11. Madhur Bhandarkar
The mother ship would be full of page 3 celebs. There will be all kinds of scandals, extra marital affairs, wardrobe malfunction etc. etc. In the end though after a lot of repenting the ‘heroine’ would disappear onto an unknown planet of Edmund’s and her name will be lost forever.
12. Rakesh Roshan
There will be Jadoo, of course. Duh! There will be Hrithik aka Rohit aka Krrish. Duh! Duh! And ‘they’ will give Cooper Krrish, the indication of an alternate dimension via his dad’s old computer named ‘Murph’. And Amelia, Romilly and rest will all be strange villainous creatures that will stop him from reaching his destination.
13. Ashutosh Gowarikar
The story would be set in the 1800s or even 15-1600s. There will of course be no invention of rockets or space-crafts or anything remote…. therefore yeh movie nahin ban sakti.. Yeh Hindustan ke shehanshah ka faisla hai. (Although, if 1800s; there could be a cricket match).
14. Rohit Shetty
He won’t make that movie. He doesn’t believe in gravity.