2 Average

I’m an advertising professional. In a nutshell, my job involves creating perceptions about products and services to make them sell more. I love my job most of the time. Except in situations when the tables are turned on me and I’m made a victim of great advertising for terrible products. That makes me furious.

Kismat Konnection was one such product. Right now, I’m furious.

Face it…the promos are great. The music is good. The director is Aziz Mirza. The film has Shahid Kapoor. What could possibly be wrong?

Three…errr...basic things. One. The story. Two...ummm...the casting. Three. The lack of eye candy in a candy-floss film.

Coming to the first, well…it’s a little late (in the human evolution cycle!) to have stories that go ‘our boy good boy – good boy in trouble - boy meets girl - girl likes other boy - other boy bad boy – girl goes oops - girl likes our boy - our boy becomes hero - girl and boy live happily ever after’. When your audience starts guessing every single scene of the film, it can’t be good. And even with a generous dose of decent music, good locations, some ‘different’ twists and turns, you can’t really save it. Which reminds me, I didn’t get why the film is set in Toronto. Set it in Mumbai and it would have worked (or not worked) just the same.

Coming to the bigger issue…the casting. Well, I don’t know how to say this politely so I’ll just come right out and say it. Vidya Balan would have suited as Shahid’s mother. They just do NOT work as a regular couple at all. And the story is not that of ‘an older woman-younger guy’. Then WHAT made the casting guys give her the role of a 25 year old? Give it to an Amrita Rao or Amrita Arora or any other 20-something and it would have worked (or not worked) just the same.

Which brings me to issue number three. Alright, you’ve decided to take Vidya Balan. She’s popular. She’s sweet. But whyyyyyyyy oh whyyyyyy can’t you make her atleast LOOK good for us to endure the film? A little make up, a little post-production touch-up, a little more SLEEP on her part (to hide the tiredness on her face and the shadows below the eyes) and for God’s sake….a decent wardrobe?! Thank God Shahid at least looks good anyway. But I pity in the guys in the audience who sorely missed the presence of ANY eye candy in the film. To put it plainly, Vidya looked better in the Airtel ads running on television at the moment.

Now I’m gonna have to go for a second dose of ‘Pappu can’t dance’ to wipe out the memories of this one.

Sigh...I wish more film makers would make films with their eyes wide open.