Kya Story Hai!! 
By Subhash K. Jha, April 21, 2007 - 05:01 IST
Two of the hero Tusshar Kapoor's sidekicks (nationality, identity and motivation unknown) look at each other and say, "Nowadays only Yash Uncle (Chopra) has successes."
In fact this failed film pays Mr Chopra homage when the bubbly heroine runs towards her rich lover-boy and moves ahead into the arms of the hero waiting behind the rich lover in Lamhe.
No truer words are spoken in this bogus love try-angle that goes from corn to corniest with no break to feel the ache caused by every tepid take.
Director Lovely Singh has made a film that's as lovely as watching a mad man make the sprint from India Gate to Parliament House with nothing on except the back ground music.
There's something immensely graceless in a film about a loser who befriends and courts the spunky girl next-doll with pursed lips and tight jaws signifying that strange and outdated concept known as silent love.
In comparison, the other man (played by a not-unlikable newcomer Karan Hukku) comes across smelling like roses. He reminds you of all those lonely eligible bachelor-tycoon types from Vinod Khanna in Chandni to Himanshu Malik in Tum Bin…The spunky lass Kajal (played by the spunky Takia) loves the loser with a permanent hangdog expression, as though he has just come out of a terrible illness and was in desperate need of sympathy.
Sympathy is what the makers of this anemic love story need for attempting a tale that's as stale pale and frail as a yatch with no sail.
Material for a tele-film is turned into a baggy feature bogged down by cardboard characters and sidekicks who chase everything in skirts and bikinis.
The South African beaches offer the 'Lovely' director a chance to focus his creaky vision on butts and bosoms.
The script (by Rahul Singh) is what a love-stuck adolescent would write for a school competition. It portrays the characters as a bunch of nerds best left in the pages of a pavement pulp novel for girls between the ages of 9 and 12.
The editing (by Steven Bernard) alternates courtship scenes between Kapoor and Takia with comic relief. But what relief do we obtain from the tedium of watching a feature film that mistakes cinema for the home medium?
The performances leave you cold and shivery waiting for one moment to connect with the characters. That moment never comes.
A word of advice. Watch Kareena Kapoor's sizzling item song at home and stay away from this dead-at-the-centre love triangle about a boy who deserves no love, a girl who deserves more love, her suitor who deserves no-more love and an audience that deserves the cinema that it gets.
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Khoya Khoya Chand promos with Kya Love Story Hai
