“I had put real cow dung on my face” - Tulip Joshi 
By IndiaFM News Bureau, July 6, 2005 - 04:42 IST
After a dream debut with the Chopra's in the mushy Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai, against all expectations she signed up a film like Matrubhoomi. The shift from chiffon clad Anjali to a brutally tortured Kalki; Tulip has literally been places post Matrubhoomi. In a one-on-one with IndiaFM she spills the beans on why she chose this film, her memories and experiences with Matrubhoomi.
What is your character Kalki like?
Kalki is this innocent girl and the only person who she knows is her father. She does not have an idea about the world outside and what they are about. In the film we see Kalki's transition from an innocent girl to this woman who goes through a lot in life emotionally and physically.
How exhausting was to enact such a character?
To be very honest going through the script was more difficult than performing. While acting, thanks to my director it was easier than I thought. I did reach a point while shooting when I felt sick, not so much because of performing but the thought of being raped. It's a thought, which affects you; so deep down there were things that were disturbing.
For getting into the character of the film where did you take reference from?
There was no reference I just read the script a couple of times, I discussed it with my director and I put in all my energy, I focused and I was just there.
How much could you relate to a character like Kalki?
Not that I have done many films but I have read a lot of scripts, whenever I read any script I feel I can relate to the character being offered to me. There are a lot of characters and qualities within us that we do not know. But I could relate to Kalki because both of us wont speak about a lot of things, both are quiet. Then like Kalki even I was brought up within my family's shell and once I started working I saw the real world. So in my own way there has been a transition in me too.
The movie has traveled all over in the past two years, how much did you travel with it?
I did travel with the film to Venice and Toronto. There were few more places I went to where we won awards, I can say they were one of the most memorable trips of my life because I had to go through a world press conference and I had never dreamt of it. People appreciating me for my work, and people asking me which film institute have I gone to…which was a compliment because I have been to none. Seeing a lot of international cinema I got to learn a lot.
How much of a learning experience was it?
As an actor and as a human being I got to learn a lot about myself, I remember giving interview for Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai, I was spaced out and had so many cuts because I didn't know what to say, and today facing international press feels like a huge transition. Its not just about the interview, its how your confidence builds up. There is a lot of change for the better.
Any scene that stays with you?
The entire film stays with me. Every scene has special memories attached. And every actor feels like that. When we watch the film we recollect what happened during that particular scene. But there is a scene, which has had a major impact on me; it's the one in the cowshed. It's a deadly scene; I had put real cow dung on my face… that was quite something. It comes across as crazy for Kalki to go through all that.
If you could or wish to, what is it that you would change about the character?
I understand Kalki; she has very few dialogues in the film, because she wants to say a lot without speaking and that is the beauty of it. So I think Kalki has been placed just correctly and there is nothing that I would want to change about her.
How did your family react when they saw the movie?
My family did not want to recognize my director and producer because they wanted to kill them. After they saw the film they didn't even acknowledge it they did not come up to me and speak, they were refusing to talk to me but after getting awards and everything they are like “ok good work”, but they still stay away from the topic because its too harsh for them to discuss.
You did Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi and then directly a movie like Matrubhoomi, what excited you about the movie?
When I got the call I knew I wanted to work with Manish who is a Cannes winner, I felt great. Then I got to know the subject I was excited but when I read the script I was numb, I thought I would not be able to put up with this. Although Manish promised that there wouldn't be any exposure but more than that I was worried about what I would go through. Eventually I was convinced and today I am so happy to be the part of this film.
Why don't we see you too often in movies?
I too question myself about that, why do I quit and keep coming back? Because I have done that three times, I have acted in a film, quit, disappeared and come back. I feel I would be taking my work seriously this time, when I say serious I mean the decision that I want to be a part of this industry.
What is there in your kitty currently?
There are a few things in the pipeline and I am looking forward to them.
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Sushmita Sen is promoting Matrubhoomi
